Success. Expanding and enriching our lives for the better. Many have become numb to the term, allowing it to become a pipe dream that is far reaching and unattainable. It's become diluted, smothered by overuse and little internalization. Everyone desires some level of success, but how many have actually defined it for themselves?
For several iterations of my life, I've redefined success. Not by sitting down and thinking about it but instead by forced circumstances or by being overwhelmingly frustrated. For the last few years, I've devoted myself to my own betterment. I became obsessed with changing my stars. I was tired of struggling in my finances, my health, many relationships, my adventures.
What started as my own personal journey, grew into something much more and included a partner, a son, family, friends etc. Once I understood the importance of others in life's journey, is when the realization that success has to be attainable in the now. It has to be both big, clear and grandiose, but also created and attainable in the present. I was tired of feeling like a failure even though, I'd come a long way from my college days. I realized I had to redefine success and I had to start living it, now.
In the world we live in, the opportunities to 'be something' have truly never been greater. Yet, it's so fast moving that many of us get caught up in our day to day lives. We find ourselves overwhelmed and overburdened so often that we end up settling into the comfort of where we've landed for now, which eventually equates to a mediocre life.
Scared and beaten by an endless stream of down and outs, we tuck our tails between our legs and begin to believe we don't deserve any better than the pile of crap we've found ourselves in. It's happened to me at least a handful of times over the last 15 and what I've learned is that you've got to build the house for success to live, before success makes it's bed there. To get a home, we must first build the foundation. Meaning, stability from the inside out. You've got to recreate and build you.
Success, is defined as, “the accomplishment of aim or purpose of a person or thing that achieves desired aims or attains prosperity”. A broad definition that offers the flexibility to be tuned and molded to each individual. Each person has the ability to define success based on whatever it is they decide, then achieving these desires of attaining a highly desired goal. To one person that highly desired goal may be fame, riches and travels and to another a safe place to live with a steady job and food on the table and to someone else just getting out of bed for the day. That's the beauty.
What I've learned by researching successful people and how they become that way is that, no matter your current personal aim or purpose, success has some common ingredients that, when combined can guide anyone to their end objective. There are foundational components, structural components and design components.
We'll tackle each, but my belief is that success is not a destination but instead a journey that’s constantly evolving and should be enjoyed for the progression towards positive, personal change in circumstances. Through the practice of mindfulness, intention and movement, success is achieved in the day to day and is attained victory by victory or goal by goal.
These are the steps that I've learned through both my research and looking for answers for myself, then implementing them and measuring the results. These steps can work for anyone including CEOs or stay at home moms. Anyone willing to do the work. Practice these and success will begin to align with you. You'll begin moving towards your desired life by starting exactly where you are now.
1. Know Yourself: To achieve your biggest goals and allow for them to be sustainable, you have to know yourself. This is truly the most important ingredient to any real success. That means over time understanding your health, values, thoughts, feelings, emotions, decision patterns etc and taking action to align yourself with your personal definition of success.
Knowing yourself is what will get you going, keep you going, and really help you become your best self. Start by writing a love letter to yourself. Describe where you are now. Write down what you excel at, what holds you back, what makes you energized, what makes you frustrated. What past events, both positive and negative helped you get to today? Write down how you see yourself now. Follow this by painting a picture of what you would look like in a perfect world and as your best self. Think about your actions, your emotions, your interactions with your family, friends and loved ones. Write your occupation. What and who helped you get there? Describe your home and even the smells around you. When finished, read your letter and take note of the areas where your current self and your ideal self match up. What areas need improvement to align your current and ideal selves? Where in what areas do you feel as though closing the gap is attainable, like you can tackle that - no problem? Good. Now identify and write down one thing you can start changing today?
2. Define Success: Now, as you're getting to know yourself, you also need to know the end goal. As Steven Covey so wisely taught us, "begin with the end in mind". Success is individually defined, so to be successful, you have to know what it means to you. You must get clear on one main idea. One thing or project or relationship you can improve. Again, think hard about it and write your answers down. Ask yourself why this is important? What does it look like once success is reached? What’s around you? What do you smell and what can you see? Who helped you get there? What skills did you develop? How are you interacting with others? What feelings do you have? What would make this success meaningful? Write it down.
3. Connect with Your Definition: Once you’ve defined success and have written it down, you have to look at it, review it and think on it daily. This will help guide you in your day to day choices. Create photo collage and make it your phone wallpaper, print it and put it on your mirror, in your car or taped to your computer, then read it over and over...and over. Daily.
We as a society have begun getting caught up in the consumption of information. So much so, that the thought of slowing down to think about our own impact on our lives, then implementing and testing some of these rituals, actually gives us anxiety. The FOMO (fear of missing out) emotions come rumbling to the surface with thoughts of inadequacy. In reality, when we slow down to consider our thoughts, feelings, emotions and actions, we find much more satisfaction in our days, weeks, months, years and life.
My suggestion is you take time now to do this exercise to get to know yourself and your definition of success. Then take this week to practice. Write your progress below. How’d it go? What worked well? What didn’t?
Next time, we’ll go a little deeper into where success lives and talk about the structure. Until then, remain aware, be intentional and get moving, today.
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