When I think back to the early days of my healing journey, I give myself a pat on the back for having the simple awareness that the change I needed to create in my life was sustainable change.
Often we seek answers and we expect overnight results because we live in a society that values easy, fast, delivery of immediate and full impact experiences. But that’s not how life really works. The “good stuff” takes time to cultivate.
Biohacking approaches and shortcuts may get you impressive results, but unless you hold the belief that your desired changes will need to be sustainable over the course of your lifetime (the hard work too), you’re setting yourself up for repeated disappointment until the debilitating end. The short term mentality of “fix me” fails more often than not in the long run.
By seeking a pill or a one stop solution, you are setting yourselves up for persistent failure. Quick successes, unless intentionally directed, tend to equal long term loss. Failure mounts, feeling bigger and more frequent, with the potency that can crush your soul. If you aren’t careful, the pressure will eventually bury you emotionally and make it harder to embrace intentional change as an option. You will become more frustrated, more angry and more impatient. You will get heavier both emotionally and physically, retreating into yourselves.
Since my early healing days, I’ve been paying attention to and adapting intentionally to what life has handed me. I’ve come out the other side of really big experiences; any of which could have buried me into this internal darkness. Here’s how I’ve learned to step into and stay in the light.
Willingness to Adapt.
Change is the one thing we can always expect. Before we can embody change, we have to be willing to embrace it. We have to want something different bad enough to pause in the face of ourselves and think differently. That’s what most of us don’t do. We are so overwhelmed with “busy” and “stress” that we work ourselves into burnout. We go-go-go our way into paralyzation and stay safely nuzzled in our comfort zone. From there we have to choose: continue to retreat or claim our power. Ask yourself: “Is this my best and what I really need right now to be happier and healthier?” No matter the answer, you have new insight and a solid place to adapt from.
Know what you don’t want.
After we accept we are willing to embody change and morph our life into one of a sustainable nature, it’s time to write a rage report. And by report I mean an activity that will help you release pent up negative emotions such as a list, a letter, a playlist, anything that will help you channel enough frustrated emotions into the physical, that allows your mind to begin processing past your current experiences. Let all the things about all the things and people flow. Go through your thoughts thinking about situations and energies that you do not want to exist in your life anymore and make note of the reasons. Got it? Now prioritize them as most to least important for you to remove for your own betterment.
Know what you want.
After you’ve dumped your consciousness of negative emotions, you’re ready to begin exploring what you do want and why. Ask if the beliefs and desires you are living with are yours because they are truly yours or if you were taught or conditioned (intentionally or not) to believe these truths. If you were conditioned to believe a storyline that no longer resonates, now is when you get to choose what you keep and what you release. Write out everything you want. Everything you need. Defend and question everything that comes to mind. Include religion, relationships, food, love, parenting styles, anything. All the details that call you towards a vision of your ideal future and self. Let it flow. Dream big. Get lost in the images, the sounds and smells. You can’t know where you are going, without knowing where you want to be. When you are done with this exercise, prioritize your list in any way that makes sense to you.
Create a plan.
Once you know what you do and don’t want, you can start designing your life around the ideal vision of your future. Now that you have two prioritized lists, ask yourself, “what are the most important things to eliminate, adjust or create that will move me into a better place, now or in the future? “ There will surely be some items that are easier than others to deal with. Address what you are willing, able and ready to do now, leave the rest for the next cycle.
Feel good changes will create a foundation for your highest potential, so even small tweaks can make big differences over time. Once you have your 5-10 highest priority “do” and “don’t want” items, put them in order of importance, and urgency. I like to categorize my lists to group items that are part of the same outcome; for example, optimal health or financial wealth.
Act on the plan.
With your most pressing items in front of you, look at your top 1-3 in each category and ask yourself, “how can I take action on these and make them visible in my daily life.” Plan to work on what makes sense to you. Do not try to change everything at once. You will develop grace and patience with this strategy; two very important skills.
Ask yourself, "Do I need to be able to make rent or am I ready to learn how to invest?” “Do I need to cut expenses, do I need another job, maybe I need both? “Do I need to improve a skill someone on YouTube can teach me?” “Is it time to take control of my health or am I ready to tackle that triathlon?” Maybe you can track your nutrition with an app or go for a 5 mile run each day this week? Maybe you just need to shower this today? Whatever your most important items, they should be made as tasks and scheduled into your day in a visible way.
Analyze & Adjust the plan.
Are you making progress? That’s the goal, but without reviewing, you will never really know where you are. Constant upward progress or momentum is ideal, but things change. We are aiming higher for our future - always in the now, but unknowns and setbacks will occur. Things go wrong and get flipped on their head. These are the times we need to use our decision to adapt so we can adjust, regroup and keep all our progress going. Start by asking yourself, “what do I need to cut out, where can I push myself a little more, how am I feeling and am I still making decisions aligned with those urgent and important priorities? Are my priorities still the same or have new things presented themselves?” This is where we learn about ourselves. This is where we embody change and our growth really blossoms.
Repeat.
The truth is, this pretty circular diagram gives us an ideal path to visualize, but life doesn’t work that way either. You will bounce between these areas, experience them simultaneously and repeat them, over and over. The goal is to keep bringing yourself back to now. Back to where your feet are and to what you can control, at this moment to better your day and life. Keep asking, “does this make sense for where I am and where I want to go?”
Little Victories
Give yourself a pat on the back too, for getting this far and taking action many fear. You have already set the stage to change that which you’ve brought into your awareness today. Every time you get present and pull yourself back into this moment, celebrate with a hug, a dance, a shimmy or a shake. You deserve it. You’re breaking patterns and choosing you! That warrants some recognition!
This is just one method, of the infinite methods available, that have helped me create sustainable change. If it served you well, please consider expanding on these or sharing so others may benefit as well.
Until we all feel the light,
Rikki
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